Ideas for a Personalized Funeral

• Making a funeral personal will bring comfort to loved ones. thai funeral image by Adrian Hillman from Fotolia.com

  Friends and family want a funeral service to reflect the deceased own personality. While some may wish to follow a traditional and conventional route, some loved ones look to a service that celebrates the life of the deceased rather than mourning his death. Personalizing the funeral is part of that celebration.

Location

• Instead of an impersonal crematorium or civic building, a location that had significant meaning for the deceased could serve as a location. If the person wasn't religious, a church may seem inappropriate. The choice could be a favorite weekend destination, such as a beach. It may be the stadium of a sports team, a flower-scented garden, the shore of a lake or even a local bar.

Music

• Many funerals today involve pop, country or rock music instead of hymns or as an addition to religious music. A popular funeral song is "My Way" by Frank Sinatra. If the deceased was in a band, a recording of the band's music could be played. Some families hire live performers to play at the beginning of the service and as mourners leave. The choice may be classical in which case a string quartet may be appropriate or an opera singer performing a favorite aria.

Memory Table and Memory Book

• Having a memory table as mourners come in is a way of reminding them of the life of the deceased. It could contain photographs or scrapbooks, and any awards or trophies. If the deceased was elderly, there may be memorabilia associated with the early part of his life that some mourners will be unfamiliar with. A memory book gives mourners the opportunity to write their names, their relationship to the deceased and personal memories, funny stories, poems or tributes.

Readings

• Readings may be religious excerpts or a selection of poetry. For a really personal funeral, mourners could be invited to write their own poems about the deceased and read them out or leave copies for everyone to see. Involving children in this exercise will help them to express their grief.

Theme

• A themed funeral can incorporate several elements during the service and following wake. This is an opportunity to be inventive and to celebrate the interests, hobbies and personality traits of the deceased. Dressing in the colors of a favorite sports team or choosing clothes and food from a certain decade are two examples. Music and choice of poems can also follow a theme. The theme can reflect an ethnic background and culture.