Gifts for Moms of Stillborns

• A piece of "Mom" jewelry will reassure her that she is still a mother. mom necklace image by Kathy Burns from Fotolia.com

  Losing a child to stillbirth is traumatic not only to the mother but also to the people who love her. If someone you know faced this loss, your sincere wish to help her may be balanced by the knowledge that nothing you do will take away her pain. As with any bereavement, the best thing you can do is to let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs you; give her a gift that shows that she and her baby will never be forgotten.

Portrait

• If there are photographs of her baby, arrange to borrow a photo and have a portrait done. Whether it is rendered in charcoal, watercolor or oil paint, she will love a formal rendering of her baby's face to display in her home. Have a large portrait professionally matted and framed; unless it is an oil painting, have the framer use non-glare glass. You can also have a cameo carved with the baby's likeness or have his face laser-etched onto a silver heart-shaped locket; these gifts let the bereaved mom carry her baby with her.

Jewelry

• There are many artists who make jewelry to commemorate the loss of a child. They may be decorated with small hand-and-foot prints, baby angels or hearts and birthstones. Create a personalized version of this jewelry by having a charm or pendant engraved with the child's name and birth date or a phrase such as "Never Forgotten." If the stillbirth left the new mom childless, give her a piece of "Mom" jewelry; a necklace or pin fashioned from the word "Mom" or a birthstone ring will help to reassure her that she is still a mother even if she has empty arms.

Books

• There are many good books that will help her deal with the loss of her baby. Call her obstetrician's office for recommendations. If the mother takes comfort in her religious beliefs, give her a book that discusses her theology's views on death and the afterlife or give her a copy of a holy book with her baby's name and birth date embossed on the cover. There are even baby books made especially for parents whose children died at birth or infancy; these give the parents a place to record the memories of their child's birth and death. Some of these baby books have pages that can be removed if they do not apply to a particular baby's circumstances.