How to Care for an Elderly Step-Parent

The increase in divorce and remarriage in the baby boomer generation is a ticking time-bomb, according to research carried out by Liliana Pezzin, PhD, economist and assistant professor of medicine at the Johns Hopkins Center on Aging. Step-children are already significantly less involved in the care of step-parents than are biological children. The researchers found that whereas 68 percent of biological children were main caregivers, this number fell to 30 percent in step-children. The research concluded that this problem is due to a generation in which divorce and remarriage was even more prevalent growing old. Nevertheless, there are still some caring step-children out there.

• 1

  Discuss the care needs of your step-parent with other family members, including your parent, if he is still alive. Try to share some of the care with other family members. There is often a tendency for other prospective carers to pull back when they see that one person has taken on the main caregiving role. This can cause resentment. Try to preempt this by setting some sort of a rotation. It may be that another family member has the elderly person to stay on alternate weekends, or that he does her shopping if she is still living independently.

• 2

  Discuss the financial implications of caregiving, particularly if you have to reduce your hours of paid employment. There may be sources of financial help, such as the United States Department of Veteran Affairs. For the purpose of benefits you will be entitled to the same consideration as a biological child. Many elderly people put fear of financial problems near the top of their worry list. Try to help your step-parent to deal with these worries by discussing the situation and seeking help if necessary.

• 3

  Try to strike a balance between caring for your step-parent, and allowing him to remain as independent as possible. Encourage him to mobilize, accompanying him on a daily walk if possible. Poor mobility can lead to many other problems in an elderly person. Help him to eat a balanced diet. Check that he keeps appointments with podiatrists, dentists and his physician. Encourage him to keep in touch with other family members and his old friends.