How to Recognize Mental Abuse

Emotional abuse is the method by which an individual attempts to manipulate another's sense of reality through cruel tactics in order to gain control of or dominate that person. Emotional abuse can happen in many places, most notably in romantic relationships or among families. If a person understands the signs of emotional abuse, they can get help and remove themselves from a potentially devastating and often dangerous relationship, or help others trapped in an abusive relationship

• 1

  Look for unfair control of money. In a relationship, the abuser might deny their partner access to money or property, such as a car. In this way the abuser controls the victim, and makes the victim powerless and reliant upon the abuser. Without financial means or transportation, victims have difficultly getting away from their abuser.

• 2

  Understand the use of alienation. Abusers alienate their victim from work, friends and family. A girlfriend might use jealously, accusing her boyfriend of cheating with friends or co-workers until the boyfriend cuts off contact with those parties out of a desire to stop the arguments. Parents might withdraw their child from school after a councilor suspected abuse. Without an outside support system, the victim increasingly depends upon the abuser, making it difficult for the victim to conduct every day life without the abuser. This also keeps friends and loved ones from recognizing the signs of abuse, making it difficult for them to help.

• 3

  Watch for damage to self-esteem through use of insults or humiliation. Parents might call their child "stupid" or "lazy" in front of teachers or friends, while husbands or boyfriends could insinuate their partners are ugly in front of other men. Guilt is another tactic of abusers; they make the victim feel as though they get in the way of the abuser's happiness or that the victim owes their abuser. Through damaging self-esteem, abusers can warp their victim's sense of right and wrong; often the victim will think that they deserved the abuse for being worthless.

• 4

  Be wary of threats both of physical harm or self-harm, to use fear to force the victim into compliance. For example, a boyfriend may threaten to commit suicide if his girlfriend breaks up with him. This is a particularly sinister tactic, and can escalate into actual physical violence.

• 5

  Consider the level of fear in relationships. Victims of abusive relationships will often feel fearful or trapped. Because their self-esteem is damaged, they may believe they don't deserve better, or if their partner makes threats, they may fear for themselves or their partner if they leave. If a spouse fears her husband coming home or if a child spends significant amounts of time hiding from his parents, the relationship might be abusive.