How to Respond to Difficult Behavior in Children

There will be some variation among families in what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. What may be seen as high spirits and a show of individualism by some parents would be interpreted as bad behavior by others. Nevertheless, it is possible to draw some broad lines on what constitutes difficult behavior. The most obvious are: displays of aggression, violence, and yelling. A child who is resistant and stubbornly defiant is also difficult to deal with. Most parents probably accept that their children will sometimes behave badly, but some will be at a loss as to how to deal with this.

• 1

  Set down few rules, but make them strong and stick to them. An example is that the child must say please and thank you at all times. This might not seem important, but not learning basic manners will seriously disadvantage the child in later life. Be consistent in your approach. Do not allow the child to see any difference in approach or response between you and the other parent. If you do occasionally differ, resolve this out of the child's hearing.

• 2

  Carry through what you say. If you say, "I want you to put away your toys and come to the table in five minutes," do not forget all about this, and just start nagging the child again. This sort of endless wrangling is what makes parents feel their child takes no notice of what they are saying. Refuse to engage in a battle of wills with the child. It is easier to get into this situation than to resolve it. Remain calm when dealing with the child.

• 3

  Use "time out" as a deterrent. It is usually appropriate to do this for one minute of each year of the child's life. Develop the habit of ignoring bad behavior and rewarding good, so that this begins to be ingrained in the child. Spend time with the child when she is behaving well, as it is easy to focus on her most when she is misbehaving. This is actually rewarding bad behavior with what many children really like--attention.