How to Negotiate Relationships

Negotiation is something that we do every day, whether we're making a business deal, meeting a friend or shopping for groceries. Negotiating relationships is much more complicated as it involves two people's emotions and idiosyncrasies, which do not necessarily follow a logical path. Negotiating a relationship is a good way to outline what you expect and hope from each other now and in the future. Negotiating can help you feel more in control of what is happening.

Think & Write

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  Think carefully about what you really want from the relationship. businesman thinking image by forca from Fotolia.com

  Agree with your partner to separately find places to think and write about what you really want from your relationship. Consider what you want now, what you want in the future and what you expect from the other person.

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  Write down all the things you have considered. Be clear and to the point. Write down what you really want, not what you think the other person wants you to write.

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  Meet with your partner in a neutral setting (such as a cafe or a park) and show each other what you have written.

Communicate

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  Effective communication is the key to good negotiation. Man and pretty woman talking over coffee concept shot image by sumos from Fotolia.com

  Discuss what each point means to you both.

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  Be prepared to not always get your way. After you both have your say, one or both of you may have to compromise. For example: If one of you has to relocate for a job, how will this affect you both? Should you both move, should you turn down the job, or is there a compromise? The key here is to consider all the options and to find a solution you both agree on.

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  Talk about the big things. This is the time to get larger issues out in the open. For instance: Do you want marriage, children, a different career or another degree? These choices will have an impact on the relationship. Honestly state your expectations. If your expectations don't match then try to find compromises and solutions that work. If your future plans are very far apart then it may be best to consider whether this is the relationship you want to be in.

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  Practice makes perfect. Don't expect negotiation to be a breeze. You may have to have several attempts at the discussion before you get it right. Discuss the larger issues and the smaller issues should be easier. You should feel more confident about negotiating mutually acceptable outcomes on a daily basis.