How to Gain Child Custody From a Mother

Child custody lawsuits are highly complex actions fraught with long-reaching consequences, both personal and financial. Due to a variety of biological and cultural factors that influence child-rearing practices in the United States, mothers often enjoy an advantage over fathers in child custody actions when a family breaks up. However, with the shift in family law toward the "best interest of the child" in custody cases, fathers can proceed on a more equal footing in court now than in years past.

• 1

  Draft a complaint, or petition, and a civil summons for service upon the child's mother. Your state's civil procedure code will dictate the required contents of the summons, and your state's domestic relations code will set forth what needs to be in your complaint. Allege only the minimum facts necessary to constitute a complaint for child custody; avoid inflammatory allegations, as these will paint you from the outset as a litigant with an axe to grind. File and serve your summons and complaint in accordance with state law.

• 2

  Make an honest and detailed inventory of your involvement in your child or children's lives from the time they were born to now. This is the story that you will portray to the judge when your case is finally heard in court. You need to convince the judge that the children are used to frequent, meaningful contact with you in their daily lives and that continuation or expansion of this contact is in their best interest. Focus on the positives of your involvement, not the negatives of your relationship with the mother.

• 3

  Review your state's domestic relations code to determine what factors the court must consider in determining custody. Some states require a general analysis of the best interests of the child, but others set forth a list of factors that a court must address in its inquiry. These factors often include a history of domestic violence on either side, drug and alcohol abuse, a party's relationship with extended family and the likelihood that a party will foster a healthy relationship between the child and the other parent. Plan on presenting factors in your favor in court.

• 4

  Behave in a civil manner toward the other party throughout the case, even if she does not behave this way toward you. Show the judge that you can place the best interests of the child above your feelings toward that child's mother.

• 5

  Concentrate on the positive aspects of your case at trial rather than the negative aspects of the mother's case. While you must set forth every fact and piece of evidence that damages the other side, remember that the focus of your case is not why the court should not place the child with the mother, but rather why the court should place him with you.