How to File a Tort Against Your Ex for Cheating

Salacious headlines have buzzed about juries awarding millions of dollars to spouses who have been cheated on. For example, in 2010, a North Carolina woman won $9 million in a case against a woman who had an affair with her husband. Months later a jilted wife filed suit against a well-known pop singer who was involved with her husband. You have a few options to make your ex-spouse answer to you in court if he has cheated on you, but first you should consider whether suing will resolve the real problem.

• 1

  File for divorce. Divorce is the primary means to sort out marital estrangement and determine whether money needs to change hands between soon-to-be-ex-spouses. Adultery is a ground for immediate divorce in many states. Judges can take the behavior of a wayward spouse into consideration when determining spousal support awards and division of property.

• 2

  File suit against the other woman or man and name your ex-spouse as a co-respondent. If you live in Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota or Utah, you can claim alienation of affection in the so-called "heart balm" torts designed to preserve the sanctity of marriage. Alienation of affections is a legal action brought against a third party, often called a paramour, who is alleged to have willfully and maliciously interfered with your marriage. If you don't live in one of aforementioned states, you cannot bring this type of suit. To prove alienation of affection, you must show that your marriage was a loving one, that loving nature was destroyed, that the alleged home wrecker engaged in activity, such as sleeping with your spouse, knowing those actions could affect the marriage. Ask your attorney if your ex-spouse can be named as a defendant or subpoenaed to testify in your case. In addition to alienation of affection, heart balm torts include "criminal conversations," cases based on the actual act of adultery and "enticement," in which a third-party persuades a spouse to leave his or her marriage.

• 3

  File a suit claiming mental anguish. This type of law suit has a high burden of proof and requires expert legal counsel. In general, you will have to prove that you suffered severe psychological distress as the result of actions or events causes by your ex-spouse. You must document the distress, such as through seeking a psychological evaluation by a therapist, who may need to testify on your behalf.

• 4

  Consider moving on without a suit. Many states have abolished heart balm torts, which were originally based on the notion that a wife was property that was "stolen." Furthermore, when a spouse is a willing party to an affair, a lawsuit does little to resolve the feelings of bitterness and rejection, and you will be put on the stand to talk about the troubles in the marriage and your own faults that could have played a role in leading to the affair.